Would You Rather, Aussie Edition

In the past on the site we have done a bunch of Hypotheticals which have gone over pretty well. With such classics as ‘A 10 for a Day or Amy Schumer for Life’ and ‘Would You Rather Be Bald or Fat’. Now keeping with such things while drinking this past weekend I came up with a Hypothetical that I though was genius and felt it needed to be shared. This one is more of a ‘would you rather’ but it still rings the bell. So here it is:

If you had to get in a bar fight with one of these two Australian Movie stars would you rather choose Hugh Jackman, or Russell Crowe?


Thats right, you have to pick, it’s either Wolverine OR Maximus. While to some of you this may be a no-brainer because Hugh Jackman has seemingly never stopped taking steroids and HGH since starting the X-Men movies. I mean as he gets older he seems to get bigger and stronger, which is 100% natural (wink, wink). But here is the catch, while I think in most cases both of these men would kick the ever-living shit out of my in a fight, I do think there is a case to be made for Mr. Crowe in my eyes.



The first thing you have to consider is the venue of the fight, which is a bar. Why does this matter you say? Well Russell Crowe is a known drunkard, which means he has a home court advantage in any bar. Plus a bar fight lends itself to be more gritty than a set up boxing or mix martial arts fight which might suit Hugh a little better.


The next thing to consider is that Hugh is a freak of nature. The man is a part of the 1,000 pound club which is pretty impressive for anyone let alone an actor.


But while being a huge gym rat, Hugh does seem to have a soft side. While Russell Crowe is the lead singer of a rock band that makes horrible music, Hugh is on broadway tap dancing his little heart out. Again that doesn’t mean that Hugh wouldn’t kick your ass, it’s just there may be a shred of compassion from him where there wouldn’t be from an angry-failed musician-drunkard like Russell.


The last thing I want to throw out there is that Russell Crowe just looks crazier than Hugh Jackman. On face value if you just saw either of these two guys sitting on a bar stool Russell Crowe has the edge in my opinion. He just seems to give off a vibe that says he would have no problem crushing your windpipe if he had to. The man looks like in between punching you he would hit himself.


Now with all that said the question remains, would you rather get into a bar fight against Hugh Jackman or Russell Crowe?

In the end if I had to choose one of these two to fight, it would be Russell Crowe. The reason being because if I had to fight Hugh Jackman and he starting singing songs from his many, many musicals while beating me to a pulp, I’m not sure I could handle it. I mean physically the bones would heal, the swelling would subside and the pain would go away. But emotionally the scars left of being beaten by a singing man would cut too deep.


Let us know your thoughts in the comments below and let’s finally see which Australian is the toughest.

Side Rant: As far as cultural stereotypes go doesn’t it seem like the Aussie’s got the good end of the stick? I mean while some cultures are know for being cheap, or always being late, or owning diners, Australians are know for what? Partying hard? I feel like the Australian stereotypes are that they drink a ton and know how to party (positive) they can fight (positive) the women have a sexy accent and I guess the men to if you’re into that sort of thing (positive) all the chicks look good in a bathing suite (positive). Maybe it’s just me but I picture every Australian guy to be like Jason Ellis, and every Australian woman to be like Margot Robbie. They hit the cultural jackpot, while the asians got stuck with a little wang.



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